The first week of school has come to an end. It went pretty smoothly, I guess. However, it’s still the same feeling that is stuck with me. I still feel isolated. From time to time, I still feel alone.
I don’t mean to be a pessimist but looking back, poly life didn’t turn out to how I imagined it to be. I don’t enjoy my time here and I just want to get out as soon as possible. Nevertheless, I am still grateful for a tiny bunch of friends that I’ve made here that has at least made my time in school bearable.
It’s a constant battle of having to play your cards properly when you’re making new friends. I want to be open to making new friends but everyone else is just either too arrogant or they’re just not my cup of tea. It’s scary making new friends at the same time because you can never be too sure about someone. I don’t want to waste time making friends with people I do not want to vibe with.
I realize that I sometimes I get subtly isolated in school. There are many instances whereby people tend to isolate me or pretend that I’m not of any importance during school events. Sometimes I wonder why do I even bother trying to be nice and friendly but it doesn’t bother me too much, though. It’s fine because I don’t intend on getting attached to the people here or neither the school. They’re all just temporary people after all.
I’d say that I have much more sour memories here compared to the sweeter ones. All I could ask for is for time to pass by quickly so that I could get the hell out of here.